"Wow, that's a huge needle!" I said to my friend as we watched the anesthesiologist give his wife an epidural. At which point we both started feeling a bit feint and were told to leave the room if we couldn't handle it.
Although I've never produced a child myself, I have witnessed the birth of four babies and watched the transformation of many friends and clients as they've gone through the phases of pregnancy. Which gives me enough of an understanding to confidently use this analogy to share my story.
Right now I feel like I'm nine months pregnant. I'm uncomfortable. I'm moody. I'm snapping at people for no reason and I cry easily. What I'm birthing is completely foreign to me. I have no idea what it's going to look like. If it's a singular creation or twins or perhaps even triplets. I'm not sure if it's related to my current work or if I'm going to move in a completely new direction. Worst of all there's no ultrasound to take a look see to help me prepare. Only I know what it is I want to create and yet, oddly, I can't seem to figure that out.
Which brings us to the pain. Wow, there's a lot of pain involved in letting go of what's comfortable! And pain in not knowing where this is all going to lead. And no damn epidural to ease the pain! All I can do is surrender to the process and know that it will not go on forever. Sooner or later all will be revealed. Until then I am focusing on the joy I know is coming my way. The joy of discovering my calling and fulfilling my soul's purpose.
Given my fear of needles and my love of surprises, I'd say in this case I'm glad I don't have access to the marvels of modern medicine. I can handle this delivery with the love and support of my friends. No Ultrasound, No Epidural ~ No Problem!
- Embracing Creation
