Abundance is not just MONEY!

As my good friend and mentor Kent likes to remind me, abundance is not just about the seemingly elusive dollar. Of course it can be challenging to remember that when there are more debts than dollars to pay them!

During this season of Thanksgiving I've made a point of scanning my life for signs of abundance that have nothing to do with M.O.N.E.Y. And guess what? Kent happens to be right! (Just don't tell him I said that, he will use it as leverage!)

I happen to have an abundance of exceptional friends. Not just casual acquaintances, but the sort of friends I can call at 3am and they will actually answer the phone! Friends who rescue me at 10pm in the pouring rain when my Vanagon decided to stop shifting as I was driving down an extremely steep hill. Friends who bring me to MedStop just before closing time when a bout of poison oak has gone systemic and I look like the Pillsbury dough boy. Friends who lend a shoulder when I'm licking wounds over a particularly rough break-up at 2am...and then offer to drive an hour to be with me.

I have the good fortune to live at the beach. Not exactly on the beach...but a mere waddle across the street and down a flight of stairs will get me there. Ahhh, the beach. I've learned it's impossible not to feel blessed when you live at the beach. The sound of the waves, the salty smell in the air and the feel of sand between the toes. Pure bliss! 

A few days ago I was standing at the top of the stairs thinking, "It sure has been a while since I've seen dolphins." As if on command, three dolphins surfaced while feeding! Running along the bluffs yesterday morning I watched a sea otter playing in the surf and a falcon majestically observing his surroundings.

Then there's the endless bounty the Earth provides. I've planted a six-pack of mixed greens and a single red chard plant which have exploded into more than one person can ever eat. So I get to share my abundance with my friends! On the hillsides I've foraged for Chanterelle mushrooms and been rewarded with several pounds of edible gold. (Don't worry...I do know what I'm looking for! Some of my friends remind me frequently of the dangers of poisonous mushrooms.) And I recently picked up four wee chicks to provide fresh eggs. 

I may not earn a six-figure income. I may, at times, freak out about how to make ends meet. But the reality is my cup truly runneth over! And for that I am extremely grateful.

Believe in the Impossible

Alice laughed: "There's no use trying," she said; "one can't believe impossible things."
"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Alice in Wonderland. 

I've been in a quandary lately. My friend David has been telling me for years to "stop playing small" and to be willing to put a voice to what it is I want to do with this life. I've realized it's time to share my dream with others. My vision is to create a Community Sanctuary which offers workshops, classes, retreats as well as a place to just be. A place of true community where you can come and work in the gardens, cook in the kitchen or lounge about.

Yet when I share this vision people want to squash it as impossible. "How will it make money?" "You'll never be able to afford a loan for the land." "People will abuse your generosity." Naysayers abound when it comes to my dream!

My challenge is to maintain my conviction to this vision and not let the naysayers get me down. You see I believe that the impossible is possible! Amazing things happen every single day, so why shouldn't they happen for me? Despite those who think I've lost my mind, I'm holding on to my dream. I don't know how it's going to come together. I don't know where the money will come from. But I do believe people are looking for ways to connect with others. I feel in my heart that more and more people want to belong to a community. People are seeking ways to get involved and contribute.

If you're looking for me today, I'll be at the beach dreaming the impossible! Six impossible things before lunchtime...

The World According to ????

I was working at the Hurley Pro at Lower Trestles yesterday when one of the surfers dropped by to share his thoughts on the economy, the instability of the US dollar and our government. For obvious reasons I cannot identify the individual who made the comment, but hopefully it will still be meaningful without the name dropping!

"Our country is headed for anarchy. It's going to be those who are aware going head-to-head with those who are not aware." It's taken me a while to digest the complexity of this statement! First is the declaration of impending anarchy. At first glance it seems ludicrous, but then the more I reflected the more accurate it seems. The definition of anarchy is a state of lawless or political disorder due to a lack of government authority. In my opinion, our government has already given up control to the lobbyists and big corporations.

While I may agree that there is the potential for conflict between those who are are on a conscious path and those who are still basing decisions on what's best for them as individuals rather than what is best for the whole, I'd like to think there is still an opportunity to spread the Light. Rather than focus on conflict we can view this as an opening to educate. Rather than becoming defensive and insisting we are in the right, we can embrace those with differing views with compassion.

It is my desire to raise the vibration of those I come into contact with which in turn will raise the vibration of the planet. In order to this I can't "go head-to-head". To raise the vibration I must act with love and gratitude for all! As my friend and mentor Kent gently reminds me, "We cannot force people to make different choices. All we can do is support them on their path and send them love."

It's All About Your Perception

I was standing in the medical tent at the Hurley Pro when a spectator on the beach approached me. I watched Thomas point me out to him, so I leaned over the railing to meet the guy.

Turns out he's a physical therapist and he and his buddies were discussing working on the Tour. "We were just wondering what it takes to get this gig." he said. He and his friends had the misguided fantasy that the medical staff was this well-compensated group of practitioners who traveled to all the contest sites around the world to work with the top 45 surfers in the world.

As with most things in life, things are not always how they appear. He simply could not believe that all of us volunteered our time. There is no compensation. There is no paid travel to exotic locations. We all do it merely for the love of helping athletes perform better. Period.

What a wonderful reminder this was for me! We can never really know another persons story. How it feels to be them. So now when I catch myself thinking, "Wow, that person has such a great life." I give pause. Do they really? Would I want to switch places with them? I have no idea what challenges they face, how much stress they may be under, etc. All I can see is the picture they present and the story my imagination creates about them!

What are you waiting for?

I've been asking myself this question a lot lately. You see I keep waiting for things to be 'right', to feel complete, to be ready, before I really put myself out there. Waiting for all things to align before I fully step into my work as a healer. Waiting for the wording on my website (www.theluminousspirit.com) to be just-so. Waiting until I have the complete set of crystal bowls. Waiting...waiting...waiting...

What is all of this waiting about? Oh yes, dragging my feet waiting for things to be perfect because they never will be perfect. And if I continue to wait for things to be perfect I will never, ever have to JUMP!

While I have allowed that statement to be true for me, there is also duality in nature and thus things already are perfect. Each day is the perfect balance of lessons to be learned, challenges to be overcome and opportunities to be cherished.

All of this means I have a choice! I can choose to wait for perfection or I can choose to embrace my life just as it is. I can choose to wait until I feel like a wise old sage ready to dispense advice or I can choose to share what I have learned so far. Pretty simple really...I choose to to JUMP!

Vision Quest

How do I convey in words the experience of three days in the woods sitting in a twelve-foot circle without food? Only my mind, a few basic provisions to protect me from the elements, a gallon of water and countless critters. It was hard. (Fucking hard at times! I mean, let's be honest.) It made me question why all spiritual traditions have this element of suffering in order to connect with Spirit. Is it really so necessary? I still don't know.

I do know I felt a connection to all the people of this Earth who go to bed truly hungry every day. I never realized how hard it is to fall asleep when all you can think about is food. Any food. The ball of Spirit Food on my altar even started to look tempting...and it was a concoction of rancid bear fat, dried chokecherries and buffalo jerky covered in ants!

My mind. My ever-restless-go-go-go-drive-me-absolutely-crazy mind! And the pure bliss of the moments when it would go completely still and I would receive a juicy tidbit from Spirit. The little golden nuggets of clarity that made me laugh, and cry, and sing with joy.

My mind. The mind that turned the rustling of leaves into a puma about to pounce. The mind that tossed and turned all night long creating an imaginary spirit who morphed from a mouse to a bird to Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Is this what fasting does?

The animal spirits who truly did pay me a visit. The hummingbird with a glorious magenta throat who hovered inches from my face for what felt like an eternity. Reminding me to lighten up! Play you silly human as life is meant to be FUN! The bobcat who paid me a stealth visit in the middle of the night leaving only his footprints past my site...I didn't hear a thing! The deer in ones, in twos, in threes. Hopping past with their massive ears catching every subtle sound.

Letting go of my anger at always feeling so alone in this world as I realize I am the one who created this. Spirit has sent me all forms of support. Small pockets of community that are there for me if only I would learn to ASK! Friends always willing to help me if only I would LEARN TO ASK! 

Coming down off my quest and being embraced by one of my communities as Spirit gently reminds me, "See, you aren't alone. You are never alone." Having my dear friend Megan show up with hugs, smiles and food. I am not alone. I am never alone. Turning on my phone and receiving numerous texts asking me how I am. I am not alone...I am surrounded with LOVE!

Much gratitude for this Vision Quest! Not only the raw, challenging version from the weekend but also this daily Vision Quest we call life. Aho!

Knowing & Believing

I woke up this morning with an "aha" moment. You know, the kind of thing where you slap your forehead and think, "Sheesh, I can't believe how silly I've been." I've always been great at manifesting. Seems like whatever I desire I can quickly make it appear from thin air. This is something I know about myself, but until recently I didn't realize there was a believing component to the equation.

You see recently I haven't been able to manifest much of anything. Small things, sure, but not the big things. Take my home for example. It took me months to manifest my ideal place to live and when it finally showed up my first thoughts were, "I don't know. Do I deserve this? Can I afford this?" Since then I've struggled financially and each month I fret over making ends meet. Why? Because I don't believe in my heart that I deserve this gift.

This morning I finally got it! I realized that knowing is a function of the mind and believing is a function of the heart. That's why manifesting the small stuff has been easy...of course I deserve little things like a desk, a backpack, a great parking spot. But to dream big? No way! To deserve more than to just get by? Now why would I ask for that? I'll tell you why...because it's time to stop "playing small" as my friend David Elliott likes to remind me every chance he gets. Because in accepting all of the glorious gifts of the Universe I am owning my power, believing in myself and that actually allows me to make a difference in this world!

Going Digital

I have a tendency to be in my head. Analytical. A thinker rather than a feeler. Blame it on my parents, blame it on being a Gemini (air sign, likes to be in the clouds rather than down here on Earth), or blame it on my tomboy nature. I've always liked being in my head and I feel rather comfortable there. Much easier than the mushy feeling stuff!

Of course it was working fine for me until my energy started to shift. As I started to wake up to the beauty of embracing my feminine energy, I realized it was time to step into fully opening my heart if I was going to experience real joy during this lifetime. It's time for me to slow down and feel everything. How my words affect those around me. The impact of the choices I make. The vibration of words spoken to me.

I was really doing pretty well at it all until the beginning of the year. You see I made a major change in my life...I decided to actually settle in to living in a place without wheels! An actual home with walls and a yard and, ugh, responsibility. That's when fear reared it's lovely head and, as my good friend Kent likes to put it, I went digital. Right back into my head. Overriding the fear with logic. Each scary thought that popped into my head I worked through, figured out, solved. But never did I allow myself to feel the fear.

You see when I slow down and actually FEEL what is happening the grip loosens. Fear loses its bite. It dissipates. So what happens when I go digital? Well, it's basically like I've chased myself to the edge of a cliff and I can't see anyway out. Rather than working in partnership with Spirit I am left to struggle on my own. I can't manifest so much as a parking space let alone a prosperous business! Why? Because I'm not grounded and my heart chakra is on lock-down.

Usually I'm pretty darn good at recognizing that I've Gone Digital, but this time it took Kent to not-so-gently point it out to me. I ignored all the signs. The dwindling clients, the parking ticket, the speeding ticket, the back-to-back colds (even though I honestly NEVER get sick).

The good news is I'm back on track! I allowed myself to feel the fear and then I allowed myself to feel supported. I sat still and allowed my heart chakra to blossom a large, glorious bloom! And guess what? New clients are scheduling appointments, I easily manifested the desk I've been searching months to find and I am overflowing with confidence about what's next on my journey. Ahhh, sure feels good!

Soul Connections

Have you ever met someone you just click with immediately? Someone you find yourself sharing everything with even though you barely know them?

Last week I had a bloke from South Africa staying with me, someone who found me through couchsurfing.com, who fits that description. Nic arrived at my house around 5:30 and we talked non-stop until after midnight. I shared things with him that many of my closest friends don't even know! My parents would be mortified if they knew how many skeletons I freed from the closet.

Whenever I meet someone like Nic it just reconfirms my belief that we live many lifetimes. That we have a soul family we come in contact with again and again. Helping us to remember who we are. Comforting us when life becomes challenging. Encouraging us to be authentic. Reminding us that our connections run deep and we are never alone.

As hard as it was to watch Nic leave, I take comfort in knowing that I've reconnected with a long-lost friend. And now I know where he and his family live!

Cleaning House

For me the greatest challenge of being on a spiritual path is clearing out the people, places and things that prevent me from moving forward. I'm sure you know what I mean...the well-meaning friend who says they support my path, yet their actions aren't consistent with those words. Or the people I continue to lean on knowing full well it's not in my highest good to do so.

Today I'm questioning some of those relationships and taking accountability for my role in allowing them to continue. I'm cleaning house and it sure feels good! Of course not everyone is excited about this shift...some people, unconsciously of course, would prefer I stay stuck right where I am. Not that they want to limit my spiritual growth, but when I start rocking the boat it will most likely bring up some of their own stuff. And that's uncomfortable.

It just shows how incredibly intertwined we really are. How far-reaching an impact our choices and words have. While I may be setting things free today...I'm going to do so gently, consciously and with a tremendous amount of compassion. For myself and those I'm letting go.

Surrender

At the beginning of each year, rather than setting goals or resolutions, my friends and I choose a word. It seems like such a simple act...selecting a word that I want to incorporate into my daily life. A gentle reminder of how I want to live. Some years the choice has been anything but gentle. More like a bonk over the head every time I stray from how I want to be in this world!

This year's word has already been giving me some grief, just as I knew it would. It didn't waste anytime at all as it starting shaking me awake on January 3rd! You see I tend to be just a tad type-A with a good dose of needing to know where a path is leading and wanting to control the outcome. So for me surrender is about going with the flow. Allowing the Universe to guide me and actually listening to that guidance.

It's actually pretty freeing. Rather than working myself up into a cold sweat about things I just surrender. I no longer waste time and energy thinking I can actual force things to be a certain way. So today I'm sitting at Kelley's Coffee Shop in lovely Cayucos, CA., enjoying the sunshine and salt air. Just waiting for the day to unfold...